31-year-old single woman seeks a man who is more than just a bearded, puppy holding, guitar playing, ‘easy going guy’. Or a woman who doesn’t have a Snapchat filter permanently attached to their face.
Hi, I’m Iona and when it comes to dating – I’ve just about seen it all, and more. I’ve lived the ‘let’s move in together, let’s get a dog together, oh my god this is my happy ending…oh wait. Nope.’ scenario. The ‘you’re a really nice person and I can’t really fault you but you’re mind-numbingly boring, so should I just settle for mediocre?’ conundrum. The one night stands, the Tinder dates, the abusive relationship, the catfish and the ‘did that really happen?!’ situations.
I’ve rom-com kissed someone in the middle of a thunderstorm in Brazil, I’ve fucked a fellow backpacker in a 15-bed dorm in Paris, I’ve had a pancake and ice cream breakfast made for me the morning after in Australia and I’ve made out with someone in a bus stop whilst a junkie pissed behind us in Scotland. An international woman of not so much mystery, some may say.
I’ve learnt A LOT. The do’s and don’ts. The red flags and the rose tints. The should I stay or should I gos. So here I am, at your service. Ready to tell you all about my dating disasters for your amusement, dish out all of the no bullshit advice of a veteran dater, be a beacon of solidarity and hopefully help fill your future with great sex, healthy relationships and an empowered outlook on the search for love.
My first ‘actual’ column will be live next week but for now send me all of your dating & relationship disasters, if you need advice, I’m here for you!