10 Totally Achievable New Year's Resolutions

New Year, new you? Nah-uh, honey. You're pretty wonderful as you are (or so I've been told). So, with that in mind, here are some totally achievable resolutions that'll kick any holier-than-thou #goals to the curb...

Clear out your floordrobe.

It’s a given that, at any time of the year, your wardrobe is largely strewn across your floor. It’s cool, we all do it, but now’s the perfect opportunity to say goodbye to that mess mountain. Grab yourself some hangers and get to work, adding unwanted threads to an assigned charity bag in the process. Charitable and practical. You are so saintly rn.

Buy some Sea-Monkeys.

Or a Tamagotchi. Basically, throw it right back with some childhood memorabilia. Because: nostalgia. Added perk? Guaranteed to generate some “Oh my god, that’s so cool!” comments from onlookers. They’re right. You are so cool.

Dig out your denim miniskirt.

You stashed it in the loft way back in 2006 (when Abercrombie & Fitch rip-offs were all the rage), silently hoping it would one day make a glorious return to your everyday ‘drobe. And guess what? They’re back, bay-beh! Relieve your youth and get some Vit D on those pins at the same time. Boom.

Book a trip away with your crew.

Granted, not as easy as it sounds but, come winter, you can bask in the glory of your last minute getaway with your gals. Memories: made. Tan: achieved. Photos: set to private.

Buy that big-ticket item.

Whether it’s a coat (been there), a bag (done that) or a slammin’ pair of shoes (got the blisters), now is the perfect time to indulge yourself. Why? Well, you made it through 2016 relatively unscathed and, for that, you deserve to treat yo’self.

Have a social media de-clutter.

Got someone who really grinds your gears clogging up your Facebook feed? Unfriend them. Or, at the very least, ‘mute’ them. Stress levels slashed in seconds.

Back up your devices.

Don’t make me say it again. BACK THAT ISH UP!

GO TO THE DENTIST.

It’s a ball-ache and it costs a bomb but think of how much of a bomb-costing ball-ache it’ll be when your gnashers start dropping out due to obscene amounts of chocolate consumption. Yeah, not cool.

Buy a babeing pair of mom jeans.

If 2016 taught us anything, it’s that the world has gone abso-fucking-lutely mad. Mad, I tell you! It’s also taught us that there is no denim more fail-safe than the humble mom jean. From RiRi to Gigi, crotch-heavy jeans were seen on the denim-clad derrieres of every clued-up gal in the fashion game.

Stop unnecessarily saying sorry.

Take note of how many times a day you say sorry – when you squeeze past the dude standing in your way, when someone bumps into you, when you open the door to find someone else behind it – and question whether you actually need to be saying sorry. Chances are you don’t. In the words of Queen Bey, ‘I ain’t sorry.’

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Forever elbow deep in a share bag of Minstrels and neck deep in the fluffiest threads you've ever seen.
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